Touch the Soul Of God
by MaireadSystem
Summary: Eren Jaeger and Kurt Hummel share a spiritual moment. If that sounds confusingly out-of-nowhere, please read over my profile for some background. T just because of some issues 9-year-olds shouldn't have to deal with yet. Shouldn't scar anyone.


_It's me: Eren. I'm writing on my own this time, telling you about a little incident that I hope you'll find inspiring, or at the very least entertaining._

 _NOTE: If you haven't read one of our stories before, please go glance over Mairead's profile for an explanation of the nature of our crossovers._

* * *

For about a week and a half or two weeks, Kurt Hummel has been staying with us. Kurt is from Glee; he's probably best known for being "the gay kid." Mairead loves him because 1. he's honest most of the time 2. he's loyal 3. he has awesome style 4. he's cute. So, after he dropped in to help us sort through some jewelry and he and I hit it off really well, Levi grudgingly said he could come along with us to a nearby comicon. He was super excited to go, because Mairead was cosplaying Elsa from Frozen, and he was thrilled to talk to another classy drop-in. Elsa didn't stay beyond the con, but it was fun meeting her and hanging out for a whole day.

Anyway, Kurt was supposed to go back home after the con, but I wanted him to stay. He stayed an extra day, and then two... and he's still here. Levi has come to appreciate him (the two of them talk about cooking and French, and I can't wait until they start talking about cravats haha), and not to worry about leaving the two of us alone on occasion. He sings in the car with us and it's really fun. I don't know if he's here for a long stay or what, but I hope so.

We've continued watching his cannon. It seems that Kurt lost a lot of his recent memories, but as we watch events unfolding on Glee, he gets a lot of those memories back. I watched his breakup with his boyfriend hit him for the second time and it was really hard for him. I think I cried over it, too. It was so sad. I was really upset when he didn't get into the school he wanted to attend with his best friend, etc. But when he finally got another shot to audition and he nailed it, I hugged him and told him I was so happy for him. He hugged me back and said, "Yeah, me too." It probably sounds stupid, but we were both crying.

He said, "I was thinking that... I'd been trying so hard and getting nowhere, so I felt like no matter how hard I tried, no matter how good I was, I would never be good enough. So then, when I got in... I just couldn't believe it."

"You touched her soul," I said, meaning the woman who determined whether or not he made the cut. "You were so honest. I think maybe that's how it feels-" And I stopped myself, because I remembered that Kurt wasn't crazy about religious things.

"What?" he asked.

"Well... I've been thinking about God lately... more than I ever have before," I prefaced. He knew already that I was a sort of believer wanna-be. On the way back from the weekend trip, we were talking about it in the car. I had been conveying Levi's latest theory to our companions.

I was starting to think that there had to be a god of some sort, and Levi maintained that while there might be one in this world, there couldn't be one where we were from. Well, someone brought up hell in the conversation (as people do-probably not even in the religious sense) and Levi came up with his new theory: Maybe the reason there is no god in our world is because our world _is_ hell. I told him that didn't make sense because we'd been born there. He said maybe we were born there after living and dying somewhere else, reincarnated in a world without God, and with man-eating giants to torment us. I don't think he's right... I sincerely hope that he's wrong. But anyway, back to the main idea here.

"I thought, maybe that's how it feels when God accepts someone. I've been trying to come up with some scheme," I said,"to figure out how I could make myself good enough to get into heaven. There's a lot going against me... I swear a lot. I think about sex a lot," I admitted sheepishly. "And I'm selfish, and..." I trailed off with a sigh. "But maybe it's not about being good enough. Maybe you just have to touch the soul of God."

Kurt laughed, but not in the mean way people do when they're making fun of you. Kind of an indulgent laugh, I guess. "What does that even mean?" he asked.

I couldn't blame him. It was kind of a weird concept I was trying to get across. "Well... they say he made us all. That means there's a part of him in all of us, right? Maybe we just have to find that part and show it to him."

Kurt made a face like he was kind of impressed, or moved... sort of smiling with his mouth and frowning with his eyes. "You should write this stuff down," he said. "I don't know if you're right, but I think a lot of people would find it inspiring."

When a guy who knows he's on God's bad side tells you that your budding faith is inspiring, you have to be on to something, right? Anyway, I felt like I ought to take his advice and write it down. I hope it might help open someone's mind, or help someone take another step in their spiritual journey. Maybe I'm not on the right track here, but I'm learning. I want to learn more, to figure this out. I think sometimes trying your best and being willing to learn is all that anyone can expect of you. It's not the end-goal, but that will come in time.

Meanwhile, I love my little family here, Kurt included, and I'm trying to be accepting of everyone, even the jerks and the people who ask the same stupid questions every day, and the people who waste our time and the ones who disappoint us. Live and let live... Life is the one thing we all share that is of such importance that we will fight for it, strangers or our own blood. And I think we should protect it too, family or enemies. I know it may sound hypocritical from a guy who killed two men as a child, but life shouldn't be wasted. If there is any choice in the matter, I don't want to cut anyone's journey short. I want everyone to have the chance to reach their goals. I guess that's why I couldn't kill Annie. I felt like she wasn't done.

I'm not sure how to wrap this up, but I feel like I'm getting sappier the longer I go on, so I'll just say thanks to Kurt for getting me to write this, and thanks to you for reading it. Please be compassionate in your comments. I never claimed to be a great storyteller, or very eloquent in general (as Levi often reminds me I am not...). Be well and be your best self as much as you can.

~Eren


End file.
